American girl loves Australian boy
I always knew I was going to come to Australia. What I didn’t know is that I would fall in love here. More in love with someone then I ever thought I could be. So in love that everything I previously knew about myself flew straight out the window.
Logic and reason were no longer ruled. All the things I thought I was were shattered in an instant. Let me start at the beginning of what my grandma now calls the soap opera of my life.
I was working on a cruise ship in Hawaii. I had come from Seattle knowing that this experience would catipulte me somewhere amazing. That it would bring the experiences I was restless to have.
I knew I was going to see things I had only previously dreamed of. And that came true! 3 months later I was on a plane to Australia. Excited beyond belief and scared shitless. I arrived in a foreign country with no expectations or plans really.
I ended up in a small island town looking for work and ready to experience whatever life threw at me. Little did I know that my life was about to change forever. That is when I met P. Acutally I met his friend first. We chatted about american football and why they were in town. A bachelor party, hmm, interesting.
I ventured over to say hello after being invited by P’s friend to have a drink with them. P was sitting at a table alone. Was he alone or did i just only see him? I’m not sure now. P’s friend and I chatted some but I wasn’t very interested.
P went to get drinks and I sat down right where he had been sitting. When he returned he sat next to me and we started to chat. All of a sudden in a room filled with loud backpackers drinking and carrying on, he and I were the only soles there.
We talked very openly and freely. Like we had been friends for years. We all left together and went to another bar. As we were ordering beers P pulled me in close to him and kissed me.
That embrace is still embedded in my mind and my heart. We spent the entire 3 days he was there together. All of his friends, including his brother, kept asking us; when was the wedding? We laughed and looked at eachother with a certain twinkle.
He left on a plane back home. 3 weeks later I was flying down to see him after spending every night and day talking for hours. We fell for each other very quickly. But not like I had in the past. This was not infatuation, this was real. We held hands everywhere we went.
We laughed to eachother about little things only he and I understood. We had started to make a life. Then the creaping feeling of reality started to set in and I realized I was across the entire world from everything and everyone else in my life that I loved.
I started to talk myself out of the love and bond I felt for P so that when I returned home 5 months later it would not hurt. I began to believe that I would be ok without him and that I would eventually find this love again with someone else. I left on a plane home without telling him I wasn’t returning. I didn’t want the last couple of weeks we spent together to be painful.
More painful then it already was for me. I got on that plane feeling confident that I had made the right decision.
When I touched down on LA I realized there was a strange feeling inside. I ignored this and pushed on. 2 days after I arrived home and was greeted by my sister with love and happiness I told P I was not coming back. It didn’t feel like I thought it would. It hurt, it hurt to hear how I made him feel.
It hurt me becuase I still loved him. Within 24 hours he had talked me back into coming back and trying. I spent another 2 weeks at home with the realization that we would work it out.
That we loved each other and no matter what we could do it if we had eachother. But the damage was already done. Within that 2 weeks P started to feel rejected (by me saying I wasn’t coming back), scared and fearful that I would come back and then just do it again.
He pushed me away. Refused to talk to me, would not take my calls and I would only recieve random text messages saying he was unsure about me returning. Eventually I got angry and he withdrew even more.
He told me to not come back. That he needed time to sort his feelings out. Then I started to panic, I started to feel that I could really lose him. I didn’t know what to do.
Go back and risk more pain? Stay and never know what would have happened if I had come back?
I turned to my family and friends for love and support and got mixed messages about what I should do. So eventually I searched within myself and knew I needed to go back.
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One Response to “American girl loves Australian boy”
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Hello i’m stephanie I have a boyfriend in Australia I love him it’s almost been a year and I honestly do not understand how much more I could possibly love him, he’s is remarkable =]
I love him, I’ve met him twice and I cannot stand being away from him. but I have this feeling I may never see him again and it’s killing me…I wanted him to come to here (indiana) For my prom I’m 17 by the way ha, but i very much do love him, he’s sooo old fashioned just like me…..But I wish it didn’t cost soo much…I mean I can’t help that god placed my other half all the way acrossed the world.. =[
Anyways You should email me back
always,
Stephanie Elaine Akers.
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