dont know if a stiLL love him

weve met in unusual thing chat thingy….we were so happy he is really not a good looking guy,he does not have any great backgrounds,he just a simple boy,he does have a lot,i havent had a boyfriend eversince i definitely consider him as my first love….it might sound like an old school but then again thats whats true..the first thing that happen i was with my
friends during my college days..iim really not so into friendster or chatting but when one of my friends thought me it has been my hobby and the usual stuff that i always did, then come october i was chatting with some he send me a message i dont know him he send me silly message thats where everything starts..we used to call,text and chat about our plans and dreams he became my ghost friend bcoz i was not able to see him,but time pass by i realize that i like him,i am maybe attracted to him, then we decided to see each other the moment that ive seen him i not exactly sure if i really like him,but dont want do hurt him coz he was already my boyfriend on that time,so i said ok let see i might learn to love him..until time goes on we knew each other very well,and i love him already…weve been together for almost 2 years.like any other relationships we argue, we commit break ups,the first time we decided to go seperate ways i wasbt able accept it…but then when i said okay let stop everything he came and said well start all over again he hurt a couple times, and then one time,im on my work,he phoned in saying its final lets stop this and i ask him why he told me i dont know,i cant think right,well thats whst ive decided then he hungs up..i was lost by that time i cant concetrate on my work, i was about to cry but i tried not show to everyone ,but deep in me i feel like dying…so when i got home, i phone him tell himthat we need to talk and then he said yes…. when i reach his place he make me feel like he miss me, we make loveso i thought everything is ok but then he phoned me again saying no that would be final and lets forget each other..so i cried again we decided to see each other again so were on the mall talking seriously he told me the reason is that he cheated on me and dont want to make the same silly things again,i did not beleive,i know that there more to that,it will only be two things,1 is she have somebody else or shes tired of me….then we were on our way going home i ask him again,he tolddo you really want to know the reason why ? i said yes even if i know that i afraid to hear the reason but i pretend that its ok and even of i know that there is a certainty on his voice..so were on the train station,a lot of people were there doing theyre own business..so i ask him tell me whats the reason of this,?why your playing with me like i am a shit? he told i love somebody else i can help myself from crying, i fell a tear coming down from my face, i was exactly not so sure what other people reactions are,are they looking at me? i just cried…then i told him..maybe i should go…i cant stay any longer seeing you….so i turned away an, but he followed me…he said lets end up everything fine…lets be friends…im so inlove with him thats why afterall those words that torn me i go with him on our way home…we were on a bus but i am still crying i can nt beleive that everything went like this weve been together for like 2 years and i am deeply inlove with him now how could he been done this to me, i wish i didnt learn to love him…and regret…when im on my home..he text me sayin you know what the when you waive goodbye awhile ago…i know that it would be the last goodbye…and you know what im almost crying awhile ago..thanks for coming to mylife…bye then i replied i ask is it true? do you love somebody already..and he told me yes… the day before you came and said you want us to talk me,and we make love i already have a girlfrien that time. i was almost cursing him…so i decided not to have any communication with..come after 2 months he text me i want to meet you i told him why i was bitter that time , but theres 1 thing i realize..i still want him then i ask him lets meet? whats that for ,,,,then we meet andwe fixed everything…we been together again now for 2 months…fixing everything i love him..maybe not as much i love him as before..i dont know if i feel the same way

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