Going Out Of My Mind

So i met this guy Shawn in May of 2007. We got along pretty good and he just lived down the street. I started to really like him like a lot. and before i knew it we were dating. Now hes two years older then me 18. and so i guess he kinda took adventage of me but its half my fault, im the one who let him when no one was home. so we got into it and you know how goes hug,kiss,makeout, and you get into all that oral shit. i felt terrible the next day so i had to tell my mother..like im pretty sure i had a infection or someting. Well that didnt really go over to well. So we broke up cause well i had sex with him and i was only 15 which not good, for god sakes i made my parents cry.. even my dad.. that means its definately bad.so I missed him a lot im not even sure why hes not that great. he does drugs. like every drug you can think of and he drinks thats not bad but if you do it hardcore it is. and he dropped out of school and moved in with his mom druggie, i met her. Everytime id go by his house id always look at his window just to see if hed ever come back?so maybe like a month later i got contact with him and i went to his moms place and we hooked up again and again.

I know i know its not good and i realize that but i just have so much feelin for him.. its kinda of hard to understand.. Everyday when i was with him id cry. Its very pittyful and i cant even help it.i cut contact with him for awhile and i got a new boyfriend. Didnt work out.. all i could think about was shawn.. and even if we had been boyfreind and girl friend still i knew he would have cheated on me. So i dumped the guy i was dating and hooked back up with shawn. i know its wrong!Finally, i havent talked to shawn in about 3 months i still think about him tho. i seen him in the mall the other day and i heard him say my name but i just ignored him i knew it was the right thing to do. And yet i still think about him. i think that i might love him but i shouldnt.. hes a real jerk! plus hes a cheated,liar, fag. i just kinda hate him but i just want him back so bad.I currently have a boyfriend and weve been dating for about 2 months now. hes great and everything and we get along fine but hes just not shawn. Dont get me wrong i like andrew a lot but shawn is just so bad.. like the bad boy type and andrew just isnt.. break up has been on my mind for a while now.. i kind of want to break up with him but i know i shouldnt cause all ill do is hook up with shawn. And shawn will just cheat on me and get high and done what hes alwats done.So please pretty please tell me something in yuor advice to get shawn off my mind and keep andrew. please i would really appreciate it if you gave some advive, good ,great anything really!thanks Sincerely Sam