High school love that was meant to be broken..
15 years ago…
I was a new student in one of the most prestigious schools in Cebu. Coming from a small-populaced school, I was quite culture-shocked with the immense population of this school. However, the funny thing was, I hardly saw a cute guy which I could identify as a potential crush.
After 7 months, we had this event at school, and he became my teammate. I first saw him when our eyes met during a game, where both of us were contestants. I noticed how beautiful and striking his eyes were, so with a touch of flirt, I subtly placed my hands on top of his during the high five. This was when our story started.
All throughout our sophomore year, I kept chasing him all over school (subtly, of course, as I was too shy to let him know who I was, much more let him know that I liked him), dragging my friends behind me. My day was not complete without the sight of him. He was like my vitamin; he helped me get through the day, no matter how bad it might have been. Just one look, and everything will be alright.
Come Junior year. By a freak event, I ended up not having a section to go to. Instead of being upset over this, I took this chance to get close to him. I looked over the list of sections, found his name, and immediately went to that class (thank God most of my friends were in that class too, and was urging me to follow them so we could be together, so it wasn’t really a problem getting in that class). Thankfully, since I write so fast, I was the one picked to stay on that class, since I was the first one to submit my name to the adviser.
During the beginning of the year, luck really was on my side. He was my groupmate in almost all groupings in all subjects and because of this, we almost always were together during group meetings, and even was my trike-mate on the way home. I guess, this was the time when we started getting closer. During our conversations, we talked about our family, our futures, our past. As I get to know him better, I also fell for him even more. He was even a greater person close up than from afar. Even when we got closer, I was still too shy to admit to him my real feelings. And unfortunately, he was also the shy type. I knew that he also had feelings for me, since he admitted it to a number of my close friends, who also told me. But we were too proud to admit it to each other. I savored those moments when we were together, even the little moments where I catch him looking at me, calling me at home, helping me with schoolwork, showing concern when i got into a fight with another classmate.
Alas, as the days went by, the more we learned about each other’s feelings, the more we became distant with each other. It was like being together created all this romantic tension, we cannot talk naturally, we cannot even look at each other while talking. Before this, he sometimes subtly places his things beside mine when we were up in the science lab or computer lab but after learning about those feelings, both of us were trying to avoid each other. Even our friends started to notice, and they got frustrated at us because of what we were doing to each other. They even tried to get us together during our high school dance, where we shared our first dance, but after that, it was like nothing happened. This went on until our senior year, until such time came when I started seeing him with this other girl. Everytime I see them, it was like a knife was being plunged into my heart. it hurt so much, that everytime this happened, I call my best friend and cry my heart out. I must have shed buckets and buckets of tears over this, but I kept telling myself that i brought this upon myself, that if i had been a little aggressive, i would not have been in this situation. Near the end of our high school, one of his friends told me that until now, he still likes me, although he also likes the other girl equally. I felt really really bad after this.
While in college, we became text mates. He kept texting me sweet friendship quotes, but i don’t think that meant anything. However, whenever I fail to text him, his friend, who just lived across the hall from mine, always approaches me and tells me that my “guy” wanted to ask if everything was okay, why I was not responding to his texts. There even came a time, when one of his friends, who was also my textmate, was asking me out on a date, but since I was uncomfortable, my textmate told me that he was also bringing my crush, which scared me to no end and decided at the last minute not to come anymore. However, we all know that college for most of us, we meet our TRUE LOVE here. I met this really wonderful guy who was so perfect for me, and who was not shy enough to admit his true feelings for me. The moment I met my husband, it was like everything was erased from my heart, and it became a blank slate, free to write a new love without any fear. The week after my husband and I became an item, that was also the last time i received a text from my crush. And even though I texted him a few times after that, he never replied again. I guess his friend already told him about my present relationship.
Honestly even though i already have a child and a husband, I still am keeping this fond memory with me. Because this was the first time i loved and lost, and aside that, this was also the memory that made me realize the intensity of the feelings I have and still having for my husband.
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