i knew it hes too good to be true
i woke up, i opened my eyes and starred at the ceiling, just starring there, thinking, thinking and starring. i know i was awake, obviously i was. i moved my body and i can feel that i am awake. i was in deep thoughts that day, that morning just thinking of him, of us. i kept starring at the ceiling then his faced appeared, blurry, but i know its him, then i felt this warmth linger from my eyes down to my cheeks, i wiped it away. i sat on my bed and looked at my clock, it was 3:02am, not bad. im almost an hour early than my alarm. i looked at my cellphone, no messages, As usual, I knew it.i decided to stand, took my hairbrush an brushed my hair i front of my mirror near the window, i looked outside to see that it was dark and the cool breezed entered my room that it made me realized, i wasnt numb, i was still alive and the thoughts of the past few days kept entering my mind.Im sorry for the problems Ive caused you that was the last text from him, ive forgotten that day, when it was or what had happen to me. All I know that I kept on texting him that it was nothing, but he wasnt replying anymore. I text him everytime I got the chance to, and I always say I love him too. I do love him, very much like crazy! He was my first love, my one and only love, but I think things have changed. He wasnt texting or calling, unusual for him ˜cause he wasnt like that before. I ignore the fact that our relationship was hanging by a thread and that any moment it would snap and one of us would fall and be hurt. I wasnt cynical about the things thats happening to us but I am hoping and trying my damn best to save this relationship even if he cant. I love him so. This relationship is the first time that Im serious of. I have a lot of relationship before but I knew, that this one with him is far more different than the others. He was once just a guy from my old school that Ive admire but never really paid much attention to. Until that day, that very day he asked me for my number. We were textmates, but I never believed that it was really him, it was all too good to be true! We became friends though, we shared laughter, jokes and secrets until the admiration that I felt grew into this so-called ˜love. Yes! I fell in love at last! But I kept it a secret from him cause I know that we can never be more than friends, I was dreaming! I kept on texting him as a friend but I would joke around and tease him to myself. Maybe thats why he also fell in love with me! reality check: guys love girls with humor and sense. And then that was it! We were in love with each other, but still this thought that it was all too good to be true still lingers in my mind. Anyways, I grabbed the chance when he asked me if I could be his girlfriend and of course I said yes! But it sucked cause it was thru text though, but not long he showed up at our place and all Ive done was to stare at him while he was coming closer in front of me. It was him! It was really him! And that day, was our official ˜US day.Time passes quickly I realized but we were so in love with each other that we have forgotten the time to spend with other things. We were really in love. We dated with or without friends, we hugged and kissed. It made me love him more everytime he says ˜I love you in between our kisses and hugs. But then, bad things really do happen and for some reason I had again that thought that he was all too good to be true.I blame myself when we first broke up. There were temptations around me while he was away and busy with his work. But we went back together again and this time Ive sworn not to hurt him anymore but then I knew that I was hurting myself instead.He became busy, not to care for me a day or two his text became cold and I cant sense any mood from him. Then this gossip reached me that he was courting another girl. I stopped, drenched and digested the news insisting to myself that it wasnt true, I asked him about it but he wasnt replying, and then I got my answer, ˜silence mean yes. I tried to hate him but I cant because it was not assured that he has another girl and I cant force myself to hate him cause I was madly in love with him. I just kept silent for days and he was too¦ no communication between us and we never seen each other since.And I made my own conclusion to my self¦If ever the time comes that hell ask for his freedom, Ill give it to him in one condition. I cannot be his friend anymore after it. I am strong but I am not that brave enough to see him holding hands with another girl like he used to hold mine, to hear that he is happy with someone else, to know that he is inlove with another like he was in love with me. I cant bare the pain that will cost me to know all of that and to expect all of that to happen. But ever, If ever he will ask for it, I will return it to him because once again, he was all too good to be true.I sat on my bed again, wiping the tears running down my cheeks, warm at first but when it fell on my legs it became cold, like us. I stared again into nothingness, letting my tears fall.. and then my phone rang, maybe it was my alarm and I looked for it and found that it was a message:œGood Morning My Love-to be continued- , i knew it! hes too good to be true!, 0, If ever the time comes that hell ask for his freedom, Ill give it to him in one condition. I cannot be his friend anymore after it. I am strong but I am not that brave enough to see him holding hands with another girl like he used to hold mine
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