I want him back in my life
I had this boyfriend . He is great . But everything changed on th last day of 2007 .All th broken promises he gave to me , I still remember them all . Why ? Why did he have to do all these ? Does it make him happier ? Does it kill if he had stayed with me ? I dont think so ! Why did he promise me when in th end theyre all lies ? Why cant he just remember us ? Just remember th times we shared ? Why be so cold-hearted ? I had re-trusted him over and over again . Why cant he do th same back ? Why did he leave me suddenly ? Why cant he stay by my side ? Its really gone for good ? Just like that ? I dont want all these to happen . Ive had enough . I want him back . I asked people for many opinions . They had asked me to start all over once again . Some had asked me to get him back . Some had ask me to talk to him . I talked . We had barely started our conversation . He went off to shower , and then computer games . He didnt tell me . He made me wait for him the whole night for 5 whole hours , in the end , he signed out of Messenger . Its okay . I dont even expect an apology . I could understand that . I gave in to him in so many things . Much more than any other girlf wouldve given up for her boyf . What had I done wrong ? He didnt tell me and just went away . I dont want him to go , I cannot lose him ! Why cant he just get that right ? All th broken promises , equals to a shattered heart of mine . Why ? I need him back . But he just wouldnt turn back . Does this really mean its all gone ?! Come to think back of everything , dont he ever think he has gone overboard ? Everything said , every single word after he broke up with me , it all hurt me ? Even that word , SORRY from him hurt me . He left me , without a proper reason . If he werent ready for a relationship , would he have lasted as long as 11months with me ?! I want him back . Right now . Is it really that impossible ? Whatever it is , I simply cant let go . I tell myself I have to be strong , I need to let go , I need to forget him . But everything comes back when I see him once more . Why ? I want to see you . Im happy to see you . But all th tough memories hurt me . Reverse th time , all th way back to 31 December . How Id hope I hadnt came back from overseas . How Id hope I had died in a plane crash . How Id wish I hadnt SMSed him when I came back . How Id wish … Nvrmind . Its too late . My greatest regret in my life is LOSING HIM . Why had all these happened ? Why must I ever go thru such thing ? I cannot let others know how I feel . I cant feel better . No matter what I do . I talk to others . It doesnt help . He is th only one I care about . Why cant he just realise it ? Why cant he feel it ? Th broken heart , although its shattered , its been shattered for him . Whats more . It doesnt mind , its goes on beating for him , it goes on loving him even more , with every single breath .It doesnt mind getting hurt for him . It just wants to get mended back , bring them back in place . Is it that hard ? It seems everything were lies since th starting , hadnt it been ? Please , think about what youve done to me . Doesnt he know how hurt Ive felt ? How hurt Im feeling right now ? I want him to think about it . I know its already impossible between us once more , because of him . But still , thks for th memories . I really hope to get together again one day . Stop avoiding me . I dont like it that way . Why cant we be friends at least ? Is it that difficult ? I WANT HIM BACK . Tell me what to do ! :I have said it all .I need you back .I know its kind of impossible .Youve been in my mind all along .I cant believe you could just forget me just like that .If you could gimme just one last chance ,I swear Ill be a better girlf .Im sorry for everything .I hope you still can remember us .Remember everything about us .Dont erase me from your memory .I still want to hold a place there .ilu .I cant give you up .
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2 Responses to “I want him back in my life”
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i can totally relate, we have the same situation..your even lucky than i am coz at least he said “sorry” to you.. i, however is completely ignored, the pain is driving me insane… i did EVRYTHING so i can have him back.. i get mad at him, have said hurting words that i later regret, i asked apology, i begged and begged and begged and…still nothing…and what hurts me most is that he just ignore me as if i don’t exist..all those 2 years and four months we have..he just throw it away..
i love him more than anyone and anything else and like you, i gave EVRYTHING just to show how much i love him..i have given up my faith, my religion, my parents, and even the love i have for myself, my respect…
now im left with nothing and i have no one, and nothing left to do but to accept it though its killing me..this is the worst pain, i even think that God also abandoned me coz i turned my back on Him because of my boyfriend, i just can’t move on and this fuckin heart is still beating for the man who left me…
i go to work,sleep,eat because that’s what im suppose to do as a human being…but im living like a robot, i still function but i don’t know the meaning behind it, why im doing it..
i know time will heal but…oh how i wish i can just skip this healing part! the pain is driving me mad, every breath hurts..
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oh mine…
do you know how it seems to be relating tome?
i admit… i was also once a fool to believe in his words…
those terms FOREVER…
the one who said SARANGHE but never really mean it…
i thought that for such long-time relationship… it would last til the end…
but no i am mistaken…
it was just a simple confrontation but every single thing and memories we have shared together… was all forgotten at once…
well maybe, it is such a funny one…
unbelievable since then we are still both minors…
i 15, as well as he is…
maybe we can just say it was just a puppy love…
but for me… its a big NO…
he is my life…my everything…i love him and i need him…
he’s the one i wanted…
i know i cant easily retain for such almost a year of relationship…
but actually…look at him now…
he is happy with his someone new already…
now all i just can ask for is that i hope his new girlfriend would treat him like he was an angel with a broken wing…
would be taken care so gently…and would love him truly…
coz actually…he is not really that hard to love…
he is so lovable even though he seems sometimes to be like a child in some but very few ways…
i really want him to be back in my life…
and i am pretty sure, if that happens so…
i would surely love him more than before,..
ill never let him again to be gone…
but hope so that God would have a mercy on me realize that he was the one, the only one i wanted…
i don’t want to take another chance to find another one…
i don’t want another man either…
huhuhu…
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