Love Tornado I was the only deaf student in that middle school
When I moved to new school and I was in 8th grade 2003, there was a boy told me his older brother is deaf just like me since I was the only deaf student in that middle school, out of over 1500 students… I had a horrible past life before I was in 8th grade and that was the reason why I moved to a new school. I was really happy after that boy told me he has a brother whos deaf and someone whos like me.On my beginning of freshman year in High School 2004. During the fire alarm practice, we went outside and I saw this one guy who used sign language to his interpreter. I was amazing on how he can signed and accepted his interpreter when I cant. When Chris was out of the sight, I asked his interpreter what was his name and she replied, Chris. Then Chris appeared and turned to his interpreter then to me and said his first words that I remember so clear, Whos that girl?Later, we became really good friends and we always hanged out even though I knew that he likes me. That time I liked someone else, Zack. I went out with Zack for a while then broke up with him because I was in deep depression and had problems with my emotions. I never believed in love and I hated people. But Chris helped me out a lot and said lots of good things about me. He made me laughed so much that I never had before. He introduced me to his 2 friends Cole and Sarah, later we four became best friends. I was really happy and it was my best year ever even though I still had my emotions problems reasons were because of my family.. both physical and emotion abuses. Chris had been with me all the time and tried to open my heart to people. I was very grateful to him for that. On the summer time of 2005, he and his best friend Cole finally confessed their feelings to me and I turned them down since I still liked Zack and one other guy from my old school.On my sophomore year, Chris went to the college which was only 2 hours from here. He always came here on weekends. He was like my only true best friend. Mike, Sarah, Chris, and I always hanged out on weekends when we had time. I had another boyfriend at that time too and only went out for a short time since I dont believe in like or love. A week before my 16th b-day, I was send to the mental hospital since I tried to kill myself, someone noticed and reported it to the school. So the schools police took me in his car and drove me to the mental hospital. I stayed there for a week. My mom cried and apologized which I cried too because she never apologized to me before. My therapist/doctor asked me if I dont want to go back to her then Ill be sent to the court then to the foster family. I thought it myself, its better to go back because I still have friends and realized that my mom needs me plus I cant be selfish with my own life. So I told my doctor that I was alright and ready to go back. I still had to see the counselor ever week. Then on the spring time, I began to have confidence in relationship. So I wrote a letter to this one guy, Brandon that I like him hes a popular guy in my school and a very good christian too. He has the best looking ever and lots of girls like him. He dated lots of girls and he was like a player and he wrote me back a letter and said he likes me back. I was really happy. We went out like a couple, holding hands together at night when we were walking to the unfinished building. Snuck in there and had fun together. We spend our time together almost every single days. Then I went to his church and met his friends. They came to me alone and said he talked lots about me. Brandon really likes you. I liked him before but he said he likes somone and its you. Later Brandon told me something that he never told anyone before. I was really happy. BUT! Chris kissed me at one night when he drove me home after I went to we hanged. I felt guilty and happy at the same time. I was so confused with my feelings for Chris and Brandon.On the summer time 2006, Brandon and Chris wanted to work at my moms restaurant and she hired them. It was really awkward since they both hated each other because they liked me. Tried to get my attention and everything. Later Brandon was gone to the camp for his army training. Sarah, Mike, Jesse, and I went to the different state for Anime-Con together without our parents except Mikes mom. I finally developed some special feelings for Chris even though I kept telling myself that it was nothing because I still dont believe in like or love. Chris and I were together like a couple in there for 3 days. After returned back to home, we began to have more serious relationship. Finally, we had a sex and it was my first time. No one knows about it and we did it more than once. Suddenly one day when Chris and I were about to do it again but stop the half way cuz someone knocked the door. I was shocked and feeling scared My mom was always gone. 24/7 always busy with her restaurant. So I opened the door and surprised that it was Brandon.. He has returned from the camp and wanted to see me before he goes to sleep. He wasnt so happy to see me because Chris was behind me. He looked at us back and forth and KNEW what was happened between me and Chris even though we had our clothes on and we looked normal. Brandon went off and I was so upset. I hated myself so much that I told Chris to leave before my moms return. I was alone in my bedroom and cried. Few mins later, Brandon came back and checked that Chris was gone. I can tell by looked at his face that he knew Chris and I did it. I asked him how does he knew. He said, I dont know. I have feelings and I just know it. He was really mad and told me why I did it and asked me if I still like him. He told me that he loves me and everything. He even thought about us getting married and having kids together. He was begging me to come back the way I was before, innocent and fragile that he wanted to protect me so much. I was crying and I saw his eyes.. filled with water.. then he left. That night, I have changed and became cold-hearted person toward Brandon even though he came to my home everyday to make sure I was alright… I screamed at him for no reasons and pushed him out of my house. I began to have emotions problems and wanted to break up with Chris… Chris refused let it happens and told me that he loves me over and over.Few weeks after my school started, my mom found out what happened to me and Brandon. She was extremely furious and tried to call the police because of our age. I was really scared because I dont want to lose Chris and he was the only person I had. She fired him from her restaurant and she banned Chris and me from seeing and talking to each other. She told me if I talk or see him then she would call the police on him. Chris told me that he will waits for me to be 18. Then my mom forced me to promise that I wont talk or see him again. Later, she still hadnt accept that we did it and went crazy. I remember that it was a raining day.. My mom left me at the police station and I was wet until my sister came and picked me up to her place. My emotions were completely out of control and I couldnt stop crying for days and nights. I realized what I need the most is love and care from someone. My mom came and picked me up then forced me and locked me up in the storage room of the restaurant. I was really cold in there and no one cared about me. Finally, I ran away. Brandon was really worried and called polices on me… Later, I couldnt feel any sadness in my heart and I decided to come back. Brandon was there and waiting for me. When I saw him and about to ran away again because I couldnt face him. He pulled me back and I tried to struggle to get myself free. In the end, we had a physical fight because he doesnt want me to run away again. He grabbed my wrists so hard that its hurt, he forced me and pushed me in the car and send me back to home. Then he said, we need to talk. I ignored him and he yelled at me to sit down and listen to him. What happened to you? Why are you doing these stupid things. I miss you.. the way you were before. You are so beautiful, not only that.. you have the kindest and softest heart. I know you still do have it even now.. You were so fragile and innocent who always smiled like nothing happens to you even though I knew how hard you have been through. Please come back the way you were before and please wake up. I know its hard but you have to be patience with it and you will be free when you turn into 18…. You know, I really loved you and I still do… But I am really hurt now… Then Brandon was about to cry and told me to be happy then left. I had no feelings what he said to me. I was like.. a doll.. feelings nothing.. when I started to feeling something I dont want to feel, I cut my wrists and they were so hurt that I couldnt feel my hearts pain but my wrists.. I skipped school more that what Im not suppose to skip anymore. I tried to smoke and drink.In beginning of 2007, I still went to see my counselor. My emotions still had problems. I still skipped school a lot. I went out with different guys but I couldnt stop thinking about Chris and Brandon. In the summer, I went on the vacation for a month with my friend that has changed me a LOT. I finally get better and became strong. It was like the complete new side of me. I made lots of new friends and I was happy. My relationship with my mom was better and closer that made me really happy. Even though in deep on my heart, Im still hurt. Brandon and I became friends. I missed Chris…2 months ago Dec 2007, Chris and I chatted online on AIM which was long… We havent been talking to each other for a loooong time. He told me he misses me and has thought many ways to get back together with me but didnt do it since he wants to save my relationship with my mom. He doesnt want my mom to hurt me again. He said he still loves me and still has my painting which I painted for him on his b-day… He also said hes going to move to New york on March for the college. I smiled at my monitor and realized what I have done in the past was really.. stupid and childish. So dramatic… Believe it or not, I am glad that we broke up because it gave me strength and made me stronger. That was the last time I have heard from him.Few weeks ago, I saw one of Jesses friends… my old best friend, Sarah at the mall. I stop talking to Cole and Sarah when Chris and I are separated. Sarah hugged me and said, Did you know that Chris is moving?! I already knew hes going to move but I dont know why Im still surprised. I was about to choke and said, yea I know. he told me. We were silent for a while then she brought in another topic. so we chatted for few mins. Then I went back to home and thought…, Chris is going to move.. why am I hurt? I thought I dont have any feelings for him anymore. Many of my friends who moved and are going to move, of course I am hurt.. but I accept the reality… But with Chris.. I couldnt.. accept it and I dont want him to leave.. Its okay if I dont see him anymore in here but I dont want him to be so far away… I began to feel uneasy and wanted to see him sooo mucch that I cried. I told myself not to meet him or the dramatic will begins plus if I see him now then it will be much hard for us to get over each other…Now its 10 more days left till my 18th b-day.. Feb 22 is my b-day.. What is going to happen on that day? I wondered.. Is Chris going to tells me happy b-day and sees me before he moved?My seniors prom is coming up, I want to ask Brandon to be my date… since I have turned other guys offers down. I was hoping that I could be Brandons date to the prom. If I ask him.. is he going to say yes? or no?
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3 Responses to “Love Tornado I was the only deaf student in that middle school”
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i cant understand the flow of ur story its very not connecting and so not clear too…and seems like unfinished. but i understand lil…
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it doesn’t make much sense
i still don’t get who u really love…………………………….
but i culd get only a bit of it
if u asked my opinion tho i think its tht brandon guy tht really loves u
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wow! that was really dramatic…why do you want to take your life evrytime you have problems? there is more to life girl…i think you really have to decide who you really want betwwen chris and brandon coz you can’t have them both! your lucky they love you both…
i lliked a deaf/mute person before his name is patrick and i cannot communicate with him very well bec. i only know a few of the sign language but my heart speak so much of him more than a sign language can do… i tried to study sign language though on my spare time but you can’t just learn evrything in a month… he ended up w/ my friend who can communicate to him better but i’m happy for them now..
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