My boyfriend was drug addict
I m 22 yearold girl and he is 32.I have a boyfriend was a drug addict. I really love this guy but my parent is not allowing me to marry this guy. This guy has wife and three kids but they are separated 2 years ago. He loves me very much but he is not making effort to improve himself such in his job and attitude. He looks like a bit lazy and always hooks on me for a lot of things.Example, one day he was jobless and he do not know what to do of it. I have to think for him and choose the right thing for him to kick start. And when he got a problems he always give up and feeling down. So he needs me to solve his problems and find solutions for him. One more thinks that really gets on my nerve is he like to threaten me all the time when we get quarrel. I do not know what to do and what to say about this relationship. But I want to keep this relationship on even though I know its too tough for me. I do not know whether I really love him or just sympathy.Pl helps me! I really need helps from all of you guys.
troubled teen in Married Life Stories
S.R Replied on 30 Apr 2008 at 9:42 pm #
You know, I was in a similar relationship. No marriage or kids, but the drugs part. I was so scared it was just sympathy and my parents refused him totally (thank God!).
Now, I am in university and I met this amazing guy, no drugs, hard working, plans for his future. I am so happy I left the other guy, who needs me to plan for him and do everything, imagine if I had kids with him!!! I will be everything at home and he will be useless… thats if we stay together. You never wondered why his wife left him?
I do think of him once in a few months, but I think that it was a good experience to show me right from wrong and to help me raise my kids in the future.
Be careful… you still have time to back off. Dont be scared to do so cuz even if things didnt work out for you, this guy will still be waiting for you cuz probably no one else will accept him with all his defaults.
Loz Loz Replied on 06 May 2008 at 2:05 am #
Hey, I’m 22 and I was in a relationship with a drug addict for 4 yrs. To this day he denies that he did drugs but ova the yrs the evidence just weighed up. I stayed with him for so long because I thought I could help him thru it all and get him sober but he didn’t. He started on marijuana and by the time I left him he had started on ecstasy. I even found the pills and everything and he denied they were his. It takes a lot of guts and willpower to end it with someone u do care for. It took me yrs to do it. I found out he had cheated on me and was dealing behind my back. I had tried numerous times to break up with him but he threated to kill himself and would hit me. The only reason I stayed was out of sympathy. But I took the plunge and have neva been happier. Since breaking up with him I have found the perfect guy who will do anything for me. And even tho he and I have been together for 10 months he still nurtures the fact that I don’t trust easily and tries his best to be very unlike my ex. I know how hard it is and how its easier said then done but trust me there is someone out there waiting for a fantastic person like urself to walk by. Ppl told me ova the yrs to end it with my ex but I didn’t and I always thought ‘wat do they know’ but I’ve learnt that if he really did love me the way he said he did he wouldn’t of done those things. Don’t keep making excuses for him and end it. Just leave so he has no excuse to throw at u and surround urself with friends who will help u forget about him. Keep us posted on wat u decide. And just remember no matta wat don’t sacrifice ur happiness just to make him happy.
Ciao xxoo
unknown Replied on 18 May 2008 at 12:26 am #
this is a toughy but i will say that no matter how much you love him the drug thing has to go if you were to get married kids etc. how would you deal with that ecspecially around the kids when does that stufff get old i mean can u imagine 54 and still penching for money to go get drugs its not a good situation and just the threats there not funny im sure he is a good guy and there must have been good times but does it make up for the bad ones ?
Happy Replied on 23 May 2008 at 7:06 am #
You really don’t need someone like that in your life, if you don’t do something about it now, something else serious could happen in the future.
Also I don’t think this is love, this is more like a feeling sorry for him.
Ryzaen Replied on 06 Jun 2008 at 5:54 pm #
I know this is a late response, but I’m a guy who’s been down a few wrong paths, and I’ve been with girls like this. I can tell you, those girls and I are still good friends and they’re happy with their life and so am I, the best thing for you would be to leave this guy and get back in the world. Again I know this is late but if it still replies hope I could help, if not, hope you’re doing good.
Regards.
Time Replied on 25 Jun 2008 at 9:13 pm #
indeed….i believe you’re just feeling sorry for him…:/…stop helping a bum…he’ll never learn if he keeps having someone doing all his things for him…it’s just like a spoil kid….he gets watever he wants but he’s living in paradise now becuzz he gets everything he wants and he’s not even asking for it becuzz your there doing EVERYTHING for him…he’s like a fken 5 year old and you’re his mom….let him realize that he’s a man now…HE’S 32 FOR CHRIS SAKE!…grow the fken up and do somethin with his life or he’ll become homeless and have the kids taken away…i guess your only job here is to get him on track again…don’t be in a rush to get married with him though, let him clean himself up…i dont mind the drug part…..but 3 kids WOAH….that’s gona be hard…i wouldn’t want a wife with three kids
mark Replied on 28 Jul 2008 at 3:36 am #
“One more thinks that really gets on my nerve is he like to threaten me all the time when we get quarrel”
IT SHUD BE OVER AT THAT POINT ONLY
There are so many negative points he’s lazy , he wants to dominate u,he is indecisive, he’s 10 yrs elder to n the fact that he “has” a “wife” n 3 kids
wait….u assume this u have a friend or maybe your sister who is in the same problem would u advice her to be with him?
YOUR PARENTS ARE CORRECT!
sasha Replied on 03 Aug 2008 at 7:55 pm #
Let him go! he is making his prolems urs an u don’t need that u r still young so enjoy ur life and don’t waste it on someone who is wasting theres I no u love him but this simply can’t continue try to get him some help (rehab)if you really would like to help him
torry Replied on 11 Aug 2008 at 5:41 pm #
Now Listen Hunny don’t worry If he had 3 kids thats ok but since he does drugs and does those thinks to you you deserve better.Listen to your parents there smart.I wish i did!I was in the same situation as you.And you can guess i didn’t listen.They are dead now and before they died they told me that i should never married him.Well Moving on Dump thet bum and not alone make sure your friends are there because he probably can fight don’t think that your 22 and won’t get married because you will even fat girls get married.So be proud