Sometimes, you fall in between two love
Sometimes, you fall in between two love and just don”t know who you love more than the other. Sometimes it just becomes so confusing that you could hardly bear with, But other times you say to yourself i am lucky, because if one of them betray you the other is available .That was the kind of situation i found myself. it all started on the third of march 2004 . It was late in the night , i was on my bed pose, thinking about how that day went. My phone rang, i picked it up and noticed it was a text message . i read the message but i didn”t know who sent it . i was surprise because i wasnt expecting such a text from anybody. i called the number immediately and it discovered it was a guy who had a crush on me . i got upset because he wouldn”t tell me what his name was nor where he got my number from. i was devastated when i knew who he was . i have known him all my life , he watched me grow . i thought what he wanted would never happened but one way or the other we started going out . I became happy for the fact that i am dating an older guy . His name TAOFEEK , some how he became a part of my life. We talk on phone most times , hang out some times in short we did what every lover would do except for one thing SEX .I was just a fourteen years old girl and a junior high school student. Tfk as he prefered to be called drops me off in school sometimes.I dont know how it happen , still remain unclear to me till date . I had an uninterpretable dream about one of my classmates . i had a crush on him the very first day i started noticing him in my class, but you it was just those kind of feeling you for a particular oerson in class. I never thought the feelings would become stronger .Incase you want to know i have known this guy two years before i started any relationship with taofeek. I got to school one friday and my friend told me that he was talking to her about me , i felt something in me , i just can”t find a word to qualify the way i felt knowing that he talked about me .The way i felt that day was nothing to be compared to what i felt the day he asked me out . I was overwhelmed , i felt what i have never felt before , I loved him so much that jeolousy became a part of me . i began to feel like i had a lover , i began to feel like i had someone i can lean on without being scared of him harming me or forcing me to do what i wouldn”t want to do , i began to feel connection , passion .I started dating RAHYAN when i became sixteen and trust me I can define what true love is . For the first two months that i started dating Rahyan , trust i forgot totally about Tfk. I didn”t even remember that i had somebody somewhere . It was so surprising when he called i was so shocked . when i picked the phone i didnt know what to say to him , i have never been short of words tosay to him before. He was doing the talking and i was doing the listening.Then my sorrow began, i have only started dating Rahyan for two months and i love him so much . i loved him before we started dating and while we are dating, but Tfk om the other hand was someone i thought i loved. I tried to break up with him put i don”t know how to . He was such a great guy and each time i spoke with him on the phone he was pathetic . In short, i loved Rahyan and felt sorry for Tfk.One of the by-laws i and my two friends BALIKIS and MARYAM came up with was never to double-date, but i just found myself in a situation i never ever imagine . I shared my problems with my two friends in school and my friend at home HAMDALAT, and they all told me the same thing follow your heart . I actually tried to tell TFK one day and he made me realise that my friend hamda is the one pushing me to leave him and i said you know what i am not going to say anything about it again .My love for Rahyan grew stronger everyday by day and tfk , i dont know . We started to disagree with each other , we quarell a lot but he finds a way to settle it . He was the type of guy any girl would want but i just don”t feel anything with him , i don”t feel any connection and it just not worth it .I became a senior and the worst happened after our final senior exam. I was going to say bye- bye to high school and that means no seeing Rahyan. the only means of communication we had was telephone and that is not going to be as cool as seeing him . Sometimes i wonder if i love him more or he loves me more .
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