well to start with my name is nuwan and i am basically from sri lanka… i did my schooling in dubai and than i went over to india for my higher studies how did all this happen when i was in dubai doing my 11 and 12.. basicaly to start with my family is something very important. i stayed with my father over ther.. i had two sister one was elder and smaller and they both stay away from me with my mom ..now its been almost 8 years i am not aware wher they are even.. and even in this tragic situation i fell in love with a girl who was studying in my school at that time.. first of all she had a crush on me and than typical friendship way where we met 2 to 3 times outside.. was over the phone for longer time… and it was continued for 2 months like that when one day she proposed me over the phone and i did agreed to it..coz i too was waiting desperately to love someone or to flirt with.. i was handsome enough to get any girl of my kind. and to tell about her she was simple wearing specs almost looks pretty.. and from ther onwards our love story started and one day it happened that she called me over to her house and i thought that this was the chance for me to do something but what i expected never happens in life… i went to her house thinking that i will have a great time but i was wrong .. and it was the first time ever we got a chance to be alone and at that time she came near me and sat and started saying about her family..well it was too senti.. she lived with her mother and elder sister, her father was expired and when she was saying all this she started crying and me couldnt bear her tears and from that time onwards i thought that i wont play with her i will love her seriously and will marry her one day even though we both are from different nationalities but as we say everything is fare in love and war.. so i started to love her seriously and got time to see her everyday , i would be going to her house everyday and will be talking chating and making love to her.. everything was fine with us, rarely we fight over that also coz of girls talking to me and i used to buy gifts for her .. do all kinds of romantic things which would make her happy , and even at time i used to speak to her father in dreams.that made me more serious with her, i knew that for her family to expect me was something which is not possible but i didnt give up, anyway coming back to my family it was already scattered and i didnt had any interest in family matters even though i missed my sisters, my mother but her love kept me always strong and happy. so i dint mind, and than at that time our exams too got over and we had to find a way to continue our higher studies, at that time i got a chance to go to Canada coz my father had enough money to spend for me but here everything went in the other way she started crying more and told that since she have to leave to india , i should forget her coz ther is no way we can be together but i consoled her saying that i will try to get admission in your college over india by saying something to my dad and as i planned it all worked out.. i got the same admission in the college wher she got and at that time i didnt care about my mother even. even though i got a chance to find them over there or somewher coz for us to study in abroad is something which nobody would reject it, but i was such a fool that i left that chance and got all the documents ready to go to india, and somehow she was too happy about it so before me leaving she left to india and i was waiting or say dying to see her. somehow my dad gave me enough money to be ther and study.. and than the time came wher i left to india, it was my first time and somehow some stuff from college came to pick me up at the airport and i went to the college, the college wher i never thought that this college would change my life, this college would bring tears to my eyes instead of all the happiness i have dream off. in the mean time i got all the documents filled up and was on the way to the class wher i saw my princess was sitting well i was out of the world,, i was so happy that whatever we planned work out and from ther onwards we could be together for three more years, and as usual i n college ragging started for us since we were first years,and at that time most of the class mates came to know that i have come for her only but by hearing this she wasnt happy she told me not to say to anyone but as usual i told everyone . in the mean time ragging was going on and they ragged us to the core but with her every guy was flirting.. and for me too see that was unbearable i thought if i had a knife in my hand i cud cut everyones throat but i kept quiet and so on days went on and me started suffering more coz of all the seniors it was like me wearing shoes always started to wear bathroom slippers to the college.. had a very long hair but cundt keep it coz they told to cut it..no sleep at nite all the time ragging or saying us to do something, i was tired of it and i used to cry over the phone while speaking to her and most of the time my money went on coz of calling her through the phone booth but at times we got chance to hang out , go for movie that was only one movie i saw with her and so it was ok what to do have to sacrifice certain things in life… maybe till that time i have spend around 15000 for her only over ther but i dint thought of asking her anything..so as the days were goin on she got more exposed to guys started going to the cafeteria , usually we guys were not allowed and she made many friends but always i wil be sitting in class waiting for her but she wont come in time and at that time one senior from some other department started getting close to her a lot and that mad e me worried and i told her stay away from them but she would never listen and started to fight always and move on with them more… ther is a saying rite girls are like birds, once they get wings they dont turn and see even there relations.. so as usual she got exposed that environment and was on the top, but me only in the class or suffering all the brutalities of the seniors, and at that time ther were friends for me too but what to i only used to talk to her or look at her or eat coz of her..everything was her for me.. and one day what happen was that since al this fuss was goin on .. she called me and told that her mom came to know about our relation and told to choose one of us and as usual girls always go for there family and she told that we shud close this relations but i made her understand and told that not to worry everythign will be fine and at last she got agreed to it…and from that time onwards she started behaving differently .. she wont have time to cal me .and most of the time she will bunk the classes hangin out with friends especially guys but me what to do i kept quiet and one day i came to know that she went with two guys and a girl to see a film .. and i got so wild that that day i was standing near the hostel and called her but she wouldnt come and i took a blade and tear my skin of my hand and tld that if she wont come down i will do something and at last she came and i asked whats goin on, what was my f… problem by hearing this i slapped her but she too gave in return and the words she told me that day was the last word i would ever like to listen in this world.. it was like she never loved me .. it was just for time pass and she never told me to come over here .. she dont like me at all she hates me.. and kept on saying things and i as if my heart explode into thousand pieces kept on keeping silent,,didnt know what to tell her.. for the girl whom i loved soo much, for whom i left my family, my education everything just left me in this lonely path.. and after she left and i was sitting on the stairs till nite didnt know what to do wher to go.. just kept on silent… anyway i never thought i will end in this way. from that time onwards i started doin all kinds of crap things.. started to smoke,, had my first drink.. it was not a drink, i dran k a bottle and kept singing all the sad songs with my friends,,, i was lost .. only tears in my eyes ..even that i culdnt stop.. i kept on saying its ok buddy it happens..kept on wiping the tears but it was difficult for me to forget the girl of my life.. its always says that its the guy who cheats the girls or break up with them but here i was a guy who had a small dream .. a dream where i wanted love and to be loved, a dream which was never fulfilled at all,, later on from that time she stop speaking to me and i would rarely go to class and that time i had more problems i didnt my visa fees and they charged a penalty for it and i lost contacts with my dad,, somthign went wrong with him and i dint know what to..everything was going wrong.. no money ..if i didnt pay visa fees they would send me back,, my studies would be spoiled.. no father ..nobody to help me even at that time i still used to think of her.. she knew my problems but never came to help , at that time all my friends came to know about it and they were like helping me out to get rid of it.. and i started drinking more and more and whenver i go to college she would be with that guy catching his hands and walking .. spending most of the time with him and me just kept looking and tears were rolling out of my eyes.. someway that time friends were there to keep me goin on with all this sorrows and i started to make more friends.. trying to avoid her will keep me happy but always i used to see her coz she was in my class and than most of the guys told me that she was with him outside hanging around.. all kinds of stuffs.. what to do now.. i dint know what to do/./ anyway it was necesary for me to complete my degree and find a way to pay my visa fees and somehow i managed to do that.. and so on it went at times she used to look at me and just tears will be ther in her eyes but cudnt help it and me too thought talking to her even though she took everythign away from me. my trust,, my love .. my life but what to do i was totally blind over her love.. somehow time went on and she started making friendship with me but even that was incomplete coz some way or the other old thoughts would come to her mind or my mind..and she used to ask sorry for what she had done.. but even though at that time she wouldnt allow me to be in peace, she has told everyone over ther that i am drug addict.. she used to come near me and flirt around with him .. showing me that she ishappy and i am not.. she didnt leave me at all..everyday she used to do something or the other to me..and what to do i kept quiet.. i thought one day she would understand but she didnt.. and everyday i will be cutting my hands with blade .. drinking drinking and drinking.. she spoiled my life.. even i was a person who got so many medals in school time for my curricular activities.. i was the captain of my volleyball team.. went to different countries..participate in javelin.. but all i lost when i came over here and started doing all kinds of rubbish things coz of her.. anyway i knew i have to go on with it now and even in mean time ther were many girls who were in love with me… but what to do i gave my heart to one person and i didnt feel like doing it again.. later on somehow my dad called up again actually he went over to sri lanka thats why he coundt call up… and i got a chance to go to dubai for the first year holidays..and even at ther i used to see her.. but she used to look at me in an avengful way.. she used to hate me for somethin that i never knew what it was…. this was my first part of love story.. the next part i will let u know later..whatever it is love has ruined my life.. a girl whom i worshiped just left me alone .. thats life..even though writing so much hurts me again an again but i would like everyone to know that dont ever love a person so much than you..coz when u loose him or her it will hurt you but what to do whatever we thinks it never happens.. when something happens like this its better to cry and forget things… well this was just the starting for me.. the next one i wil let u know.. i hope after hearing that nobody would dare to love even..