Sad Girl to shy to talk

So i have been doing TaeKwonDo for 9 years now and i first started of in germany and i loved it i had tons of friends and tons of fun i always thought nothing could stop me from achiving my goal which was to become a black belt by the age of 11 or 12 years, but then in 2004, 3 years after i had set my goal my whole life turned around and got drained the toilet. My parents told me that we are moving to America and i was so sad that i had to leave my life behind and since i was only 9 years old i thought so ok i can continue in America, but one major thing stoped me, It would never be the same. So when we moved to america it took ab out 1 year for my mom to find a TaeKwondo school which was just enough time for a 9 year old to forget EVERYTHING about taekwondo and the people there. So Than i started a new style of TaeKwonDo and i was treated as an outsider for 1 and a half years and then we moved again but it was oly 45 minutes away from my other house so that made no difference EXEPT that i had lost my friends again. So that i started anothr Taekwondo school and my dream started to get weaker and weaker until i gave up but my dad said he wouldnt ever let me quite TaeKwonDo unless i told him why and i just kept saying because, because, because and the real reason was because i didnt like the style i was doing and i missed everybody way to much that it was eating my heart. But i would never tell my dad that so i kept fighting and i was winning, soon i forgot about everything and my dream was to get my black belt as soon as possible, but than i started to see pictures of how happy i was whn i was there and one day i found there website and i started to cry so much that on day i saw that it was one of my old friends birthday so i told him happy Birthday and w started talking

I am sure this is a similar situation for many, but it hurts nonetheless.

I am completley and utterly infatuated with one of my close guy friends. We have been close for a year. During this time we had a ‘thing’, but it didn’t go anywhere.

This friend, however, has alot of issues. He is on anti-depressants and has been for two years. He takes illicit drugs regularly and drinks to forget. When he drinks, he does stupid things. He kisses boys and does other things with them.

He has a girlfriend who loves him, but knows nothing about him. He has cheated

So i am gonna say that my name is Sara and this my story of a girls heart that is being eaten. I started TaeKwondo in 2001 so i have been doing TaeKwondo for 7 years and i love it.

I started in Germany and i had so much fun i mean a 6 year old with tons of friends and getting to do what she loved, i had tons of friends and i had tons of fun, i went 5 days a week every week for one hour and 30 minutes and i had tons of fun. I was so sure that nothing could go wrong untill my parents told me we were moving for a 9 year old i was devistaed so my last few weeks there i tried everything to get as far as possible and so i got my blue belt. I even thought of some good stuff like i will make new friends and i will continue were i left of.

When we arrived my mom was looking for a new TaeKwondo school and one year later my mom found one. Just that one year gave me enough time to forget everybody and everything.

Then once i started the new TaeKwondo school i was treated as an outsider and i didnt like it. One year later we moved again adn i lost all my friends again i never thought that my parents would hurt me twice in 2 years.

But they did!

Then i started another style of TaeKwondo so 4 years of learning something was for nothing i had become a blue belt and now i had to learn everything again and everything i learned was toatly different. So my dream was to become a black belt at 11 or 12 years old and if i had stayed in germany i would have been a black belt with all of my friends. So my dream was being ripped apart one step at a time.

In 2007 i found pictures and the website of the TaeKwonDo school and as soon as i saw pictures i started to cry, from then on i cryed for 1 month strait for hours at once. then i noticed that it was one of my old friends birthday so i wrote to him Happy Birthday which was a big mistake. So we started talking per email and we shared storys in pictures and i started having fun being able to talk to someone in such a long time.

For about one month we were talking to each other and i stared to get closer to him and once again i thought nothing could go wrong untill about 10 days ago. That was after i had sent him a picture of me he just stopped writing to me and my heart just fell i could feel it and i got really sad inside because once again i had gotten close to something/ someone and it was ripped away from me and i was hurt so bad, after i said i didnt want anybody or anything hurting me after all that i had been through. To Top all that me and my best friend for 3 years strait got in the biggest fight and we barly talk to eavh other.

Everytime i think of anything that happened in Germany i get so sad and i cry for hours strait and i can feel my heart being eaten by the Evil things by the evil things that happened to me. I only have one wish for everything to be alright and me to be able to live a good life without to much pain.

Even though i go to germany almost every year exept this year, each time i went and i tried to visit them it was eather to late and my trainer was just there or it was monday and my trainer was just there.

My heart is being eaten and i cant stop it!

I am on my third year in high school that time… And all I remember is that,.. my classmate named gerikho is always teasing me, while he is with his friend named ed, who tease me also, and everytime they do that, i also do the same thing, but sometimes i just keep quiet because im not in my good mood to have fun with them.. But I am not the only one they tease but my friends also… And sometimes i caught gerikho staring at me and looking at me.. so sometimes when he do that,.. i just pretend that i dont know what he is doing, even though I know he knows that I know., And those sit