what should i do about my parents?
okay well ive been going out with this guy for almost six months now. i barely get to see him because my parents will not let me hangout with guys.. when im 15. ive hungout with him about 5-6 times and it was all behind my parents back. i know most people dont care what they do behind theyre parents backs but i do. it hurts me when i lie to them. and on valentines day he brought me a rose and chocolates and i had to of course take it home. and i told my parents that we had been crushing on each other [at that time it was about mnths for us] and that kinda got worried you know. the next day i told my mom that he had asked me out and she automatically said no you cant be with him breakup with him tomorrow or over the internet. 1. no because i love him. 2. no. why would i breakup with him over the internet. 3. why would i breakup with him. weve had a couple fights since we started going out. one major one that lasted 4 days and a few small ones that didnt last that long. but now that were getting closer he wants to hangout a lot and i always have to say no becuase its like impossible for me now that my parents know there is a guy that i want to hangout with im like not allowed to go anywhere ever. what the hell am i supposed to do!? please help.
myshotgunrules in Love Problems, Parents Not in Favor
Josh Replied on 20 May 2008 at 8:00 pm #
Hey…
I’m probably the only guy on this site… and that’s a long story in and of itself. I wanted to say “good job” though.
The first time I dated a girl, we were doing it against our parents’ wills and I brought her flowers. And she knew she couldn’t take them home, so she threw them out down the hall…. I saw them in the garbage and was pretty bummed. I lived, and let it slide, but it was one of the harshest things.
Explain to your bf why you can’t take those little things. I started leaving my girl notes everywhere, her purse, jacket pockets, etc. She flipped at first, but now she collects them and hides em.
I don’t know about the whole love thing. I think telling your parents “but I love him” is just going to make them thing you’re an immature angst teen.
Maybe just keep it a secret until you’re “old enough”.
Good luck,
Josh
Marshall Replied on 24 May 2008 at 6:16 pm #
Hi there.
I haven’t been in a situation like this before so if my advice does not help, then i am sorry.
Depending on how understanding and open to new things your parents are you could try sitting down with them and explain that you really like this guy and you like to spend time with him. Try to make him sound like a friend and you just want to spend time with him as a friend. Depending on how that goes you could see if you could invite him over for dinner one night (if your parents are still anti-boys after the talk this will prob not be a good idea) so your parents can meet him and hopefully they might see he is a nice young man.
I agree with Josh when he says that telling your parents “you love him” is a bad idea. Try get your parents to think of him more as one of your friends.
Absolute best of luck to you!
And Josh you’re not the only guy on this site hehe, there’s quite alot.
Amber Jones Replied on 08 Jun 2008 at 9:47 pm #
i am in thi isuue right now myself with my boyfriend of almost two months his dad ha a clue about us but just said not to let his mom find out and well i am kinda sick of sneaking behind his mom back but i learned to deal with it cause i really love this guy and am willing to do what it takes to be with him and then like marshall saidd try talking to your parents about it and see what they think my mom is open to new idea and if i dont like something she is doing i talk to her about it just think about it and give it a shot thats all i can say
shine Replied on 29 Jun 2008 at 5:37 pm #
OMG..i think i would agree to da other one.dont break up with him if your parents said so.if you love him keep him, but make sure your parents wont know about it..hea keep it for a little longer so you they would understand when your old enough.
SadGirl2004 Replied on 25 Jul 2008 at 7:22 am #
I myself havent been in a situation like this myself but my friend was in one and i helped her throught it!!!
Im thinking that your parents are afraid that you may get pregnet from this guy if you get to close.
So maybe you should try talking to them and tell them you wont do these things.
you could also ask if it would be ok if you guys do only double dates instead of single it is more safe anyway!!
i hoped i helped you, my friends parents were really touched when she stould up to them and told her how much she liked him and how she would never do these things and now they have been going steady for 9 months and her parents are slowly breaking the xhains on her realationship with him!!
sara